RUNWAY TALK: How I found self-love and a good deal at Macy’s.

Let me get personal for a second. It is important to love yourself. It is also more important to know that it is a complex journey. It is not as easy as people will make it seem but at the same times, it is as easy as waking up one morning and choosing to love yourself.  Loving yourself is not as easy as finding a good deal in Macy’s. This is a story for another day, but I finally found a good deal in Macy’s. Self-love is something that is always casually tossed around in our daily conversations. “You can’t love another person if you don't love yourself.” “If you only loved yourself, this wouldn’t have happened to you.” “Why don’t you love yourself?”

On my journey of finding self-love, I struggled with the thin line between self-love and being selfish. The dictionary defines self love as a regard for one’s own well-being and happiness but I liked how J Cole described it in Love yourz much better.

Self love is very important. It influences what kind of image you put out there, who you pick to be on your Runway but most importantly, how you deal with the lemons life will throw at you. You are destined for greatness and if you do not love yourself, you will be in your own way. I’m going to tell you about the time I was in my own way.

I used to think that I loved myself. As a matter of fact, I was the one giving the “Just love yourself” speech. Until I loved this boy more than I ever loved myself or my favorite pair of shoes: a kind of love he could never have returned. After a long time of playing Ms. Perfect, I realized that the problem was not that I was not fly enough, the problem was that I loved him more than a new pair of shoes and that was not going to work for me.

It happened at in the second semester of my Junior year. I dug deep into myself. I went as back as my memory would let me. I put my fears as a 21 year old but also as a 6 year old on the table. I think that we are a product of our pasts so I had to tell 6 year old Reginah that she needs to let somethings go for the sake of 21 year old Reginah. You get what I’m saying? I isolated myself and I let myself ache from the pain I would mask with a shopping trip or whatever i was doing to fool myself that I was happy. I lost many friends during this process but I found myself. When I was aching from being lonely, I remember feeling God’s love, I remember feeling my Grandpa’s love- whose death might have triggered these emotions. I looked in the mirror and I was felt different. I was comfortable with the things that made me who I was. I learned to set boundaries. There were somethings I would do because I was afraid of hurting people’s feelings so this part of the process was good for me. I started to express myself and stopped caring whether someone would think it's bitchy or not.

And then I went on a forgiving spree. Forgiving can be an easy thing but forgiving someone whose apology you will never get is very difficult but I did it. I’m in the process of forgiving myself. As long as you are true to yourself, nothing else matters as much. Just let God take care of the rest.

I am no expert but I have learnt that in order to fully love yourself, you have to dig deep and be comfortable with that thing that terrifies you the most.  Remember that sometimes you just outgrow people and while you are at it, I hope you find  God’s love and a good deal at Macy’s.

Be patient and enjoy the journey.
Thank you for walking on my Runway.


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