Backstage Pass: My black is not always strong.
I am taking the next two weeks to focus on my inner self. It would be nice if you could do it with me. I am going to meditate and get prayed up. I have so much going on my Runway so it is understandable why my emotions are all over the place. One second I am the happiest girl and the next second I want to cry. Before I know it, I want to argue with someone just because. It is a good thing this is all just in my head. This could also be hormones or a Pisces thing but I would like to center myself. The only crying I will be doing will be during the Olympics.
I will admit that I am healing from somethings and I am finally at the point in my life where I will not hide my scars. I feel like because I am a black woman; I am expected to be strong and independent. The truth is I am not. Well, I am strong and independent and a Queen and fabulous but that is not always the case. Some days I have to overdose on Beyoncé to get there. Part of my healing was finding a few people on my Runway that I can be vulnerable with and although that took some time and a few disappointments; I can say that I have them. People you can be vulnerable with are very essential. I am not feeling very strong today and there is completely okay.
I have accepted Jesus as my homie and #1 BAE but sometimes I feel like I cannot be vulnerable to Him because I feel like I do not completely trust Him. I started trusting him because the stressing was only creating more stress and even though He comes though like He always has since that day on the cross, I want to get to that point of trusting Him not because I have no other choice but because I know that He got me. My faith is a work in progress. I guess you can blame Frank Ocean for my trust issues.
We will spend the next few days talking and focusing about our inner beauty. What brings you inner peace? Is it shopping? Is it getting a haircut? Is it getting a few booty rubs? For me, I feel like I will start with prayer and meditation and maybe sneak it one or two booty rubs. Let’s try to stay away from material things when it comes to finding inner strength.Thank you for walking on the Runway. Catch me Backstage.